Welcome to the Jungle

This is a blog about girlie bars in the Philippines ... or "night clubs," as they are rather evasively referred to by their denizens and patrons. I'm the Table Guy, the only professional Night-Club critic in the country, and your host for the duration. Over the past 3 months, I've gone to over a dozen different night clubs in the Quezon City area, and am constantly on the lookout for new entries into this surprisingly competitive industry. Apart from the occasional ambiguous reference to my personal life, you will never know who I am. As you will come to understand in subsequent entries, this is actually quite apt.

There are a handful of reasons for this blog's existence, which I am compelled to list down now to justify all the time I am putting into it.

1. Nobody blogs about this shit. Seriously. Out of the 200,000 males that flock to night clubs every night in the Metro Manila area --statistic pulled out of ass, quote me if you dare-- not one has ever thought to write about the experience in any meaningful manner. And no, texting your friends about that gifted GRO who could blow smoke rings with her mouth closed doesn't count.

2. It's a lot more than appreciating an erotic dance, running your fingers between someone's butt cheeks, or blowing your wad in somebody's palm. It's a social experience, unlike anything else you've ever tried. ... That's not true, exactly. What it's most like is life itself, abbreviated to the scale of minutes instead of days and weeks, and distilled such that only important stuff like sex and money matter.

3. I personally need to get this information out there, because I have been walking around with these experiences for months now with no place to store them. Once I've grown out of my girlie-bar phase, I'll probably start another blog about shabu runners, the NBI and rehab centers in Paranaque. (Now there's a story for you.)

So that's pretty much it.

Welcome, strangers. Let me tell you a story.